I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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