So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
