Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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