I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize