Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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