Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
