Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Randomize