There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
