there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
