Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize