Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
