Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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