I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
