i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
