69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
