there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Are we still banned from the library?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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