My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
