I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
