Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
