if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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