I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You just made me feel so damn special
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
