i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i may or may not be watching the land before time
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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