i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
