its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize