in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
