The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize