OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
My dad just said "fuck circus"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
