I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
