I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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