well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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