he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
