what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
