I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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