Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Someone shattered a urinal.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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