I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
