So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she woke up with a sticky ear
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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