Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
