so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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