3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
