You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
