I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
