its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
false alarm, still single
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