It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize