She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
