sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
