we have officially lost it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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