I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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