jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize