I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
