He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Randomize
