She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
