That's intense
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
