I can tuck mytits in my pants
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
