I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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