Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
