FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Randomize
