I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
