All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
