so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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