i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
