And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize