I wannas sexs uuuuu
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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