in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
