if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
