These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
