I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
