Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
