Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
