she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Are we still banned from the library?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
