Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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