I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
