so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
