a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
