I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
