WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
