nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Also, beer. Big fan.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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