Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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